Well, we have the seen Wikileaks “October Surprise” we heard about ad nauseum. this spectacle was originally billed as the venue where they would expose one of the presidential candidates as a criminal in need of prosecution. Instead what we got was a big nothingburger. For the privilege of being duped, one had to stay up until 4 A.M Central time, and wait, and wait, and….. you get the idea. I’ll summarize it for those of you who didn’t choose to sacrifice your sleep and your sanity to watch this self-indulgent crapfest.

There were rumors of security threats against Wikileaks founder, Julian Assange, so they moved the location of the event. Because the event was delayed,  and there were technical and audio problems but Assange finally appeared. The initial broadcast consisted of one fat, raving conspiracy theorist (Alex Jones), fawning over accused rapist conspiracy theorist (Julian Assange) consisting of a whole lot of filler that doesn’t matter, and Jones becoming increasingly impatient. The main course was one fat, raving conspiracy theorist (Alex Jones), fawning over accused rapist conspiracy theorist (Julian Assange). This was followed by a whole lot of filler that doesn’t matter, and Jones becoming increasingly impatient.

Eventually, the spokesmodel for Wikileaks, Assange began his video stream. It quickly became apparent that Assange had only one goal, to talk about Assange incessantly until Assange was satisfied. He bragged about a bunch of things Wikileaks didn’t do and a few things they actually did. It was his vanity piece and we we were merely invited to observe. At the conference progressed, Jones began to show his irritation at being duped. Jones himself called the press conference “a fricking train wreck” and “incoherent babble”. It was honestly amusing watching his exasperation keep climbing. I hope he took his blood pressure medicine before this debacle!

If there were security threats, not spilling the beans makes no sense. If Assange has the damning information then releasing it makes the reported threat more credible, while holding it makes the reported threats seem even less credible. It also appears Assange has no information and is merely trying to influence the Presidential Election at the behest of others or to gain the spotlight for himself. According to the Wikileaks website “Our goal is to bring important news and information to the public.” If that truly is their goal, then Julian Assange managed to set back that purpose tremendously with this event.

So we are left to assume that Assange either knuckled under to threats or that this is the most epic troll of the press and the conspiracy theory set to date. Wikileaks has been feared by individuals, companies, and even nations. It appears that without certain state sponsored entities to do the heavy lifting, Wikileaks becomes Wimpyleaks.

Jones, however, wanted to assure us that he has recovered from his disappointment and is still ready to charge ahead in the pursuit of truth.

Don’t you feel better now?