Audi ran a commercial during the Super Bowl that touted itself as being about “equal pay” for women. It’s difficult to figure out how that ties into selling vehicles but, whatever. Nevertheless, since Audi started the conversation about how much money men and women earn, I’d like to join the conversation by suggesting that women earn too much money in comparison with men.

One of the things modern society tells us is that we always must listen to both sides of a debate. We also are told that we need to have our ideas challenged, that we must have more diversity of thought, and blah, blah, blah.

So since Audi has started the conversation that there is pay inequality between men and women—that women don’t earn enough money—then someone must start the argument for the other side. And so I’ve taken it upon myself to argue that women earn too much money in our society and we should take steps to ensure that they earn less than they do now.

My argument will list six reasons why women should earn less money, with each point dropping the percentage of money that women should earn compared with men.

(1) Women are bad drivers. This is an indisputable fact. And that they are such terrible drivers means they endanger us all. The danger means an increase in costs to society (due to accidents, the amount of time it takes to get to places, and so forth). So with this starting point, women should only earn 90% of what men earn.

(2) Pink pussy hats and the women’s march on Washington. These hats and this march occurred in January and supposedly had something to do with “women’s equality.” Enough said. Point number two helps us see that women should only earn 60% of what men earn.

(3) This shirt (see below). This “My Pussy My Choice” shirt from the incredibly unfunny spoof public service announcement helps us understand that women should only earn 40% of what men earn.

Still image from, “The Alternative Constitution,” a spoof public service announcement from “Funny or Die.”

(4) Toxic masculinity. Women have been at the forefront of demonizing men for being men. Okay. Women should only earn 20% of what men earn.

(5) #DressLikeAWoman. Women across social media platforms became outraged over a rumor about Trump wanting women in the White House to dress appropriately. Even if the rumor has validity, it would be nothing different from Obama’s White House (see page 2 of that June 2016 linked document). So the fact that women are offended by dressing professionally and that they don’t know that this is not a new requirement means they should now only earn 10% of what men earn.

(6) Women in the kitchen. The narrative is that men put women in the kitchen to “put them in their place.” Nonsense. Men allow women in the kitchen because making food is something simple enough for them to do. Still, they aren’t great at it. That’s why the best chefs are always men. And this last point perfectly illustrates my argument. Women should earn less than men because they are inferior at work when compared to men. So based on this, women should earn 1% of what men earn. (And this means that women are the true ONE PERCENTERS!)

So thanks to Audi for starting this important conversation about how much men and women should earn. Audi argues that women should earn more money than they are already unfairly earning. I’ve started the argument that women should justly earn less than what they earn now.

Won’t you join us in this debate?