Nordstrom is “an American chain of luxury department stores headquartered in Seattle, Washington.” Now, they’re purveyors of propaganda, the likes of which has never been seen, even on Breitbart or MSNBC.

They are marketing a denim blue jean pant with, get this, BUILT IN FAKE MUD. Their “Barracuda Straight Leg Jeans” offer a “Heavily distressed medium-blue denim jeans in a comfortable straight-leg fit embody rugged, Americana workwear that’s seen some hard-working action with a crackled, caked-on muddy coating that shows you’re not afraid to get down and dirty.”

No, really – #FakePants: http://m.shop.nordstrom.com/s/prps-barracuda-straight-leg-jeans/4457245?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=INDIGO

For the wallet-friendly rock-bottom price of $425.00, you too can own the latest in fashion. Want to show up to a mud-boggin’ event but keep the mud out of your BMW’s fine Corinthian-leather seats? Nordstrom’s got the jeans for you! Want to impress your farmer’s daughter girlfriend’s dad with your “work ethic” but afraid to tarnish the hand-crafted wood paneling inside your Range Rover? Nordstrom’s is your store! Unemployed Pacific north-westerner with a hankerin’ for pretending to your buddies that you were knee-deep in helping with the failed Dakota Access Pipeline protest? Pull out Daddy’s credit card and voila! Instant hard work and dedication at a fraction of the effort!

Seriously, how pathetic is it that Nordstrom would insult flyover country by selling these jeans? I’m willing to bet money that the link above won’t work before the end of the week, and the company will issue an “apology” for offending anyone who happens to be offended by a luxury department store who de-values hard working Americans for profit.

I can imagine the apology now… “We at Nordstrom value the opinion of our customers and want to deeply apologize to anyone who was offended by the product, ‘Barracuda Straight Leg Jeans with Fake Dirt and Mud.’ There was no intent at all to deceive farmers with hot daughters, those who listen to music sung by artists with two first names (Luke Bryan, Toby Keith, Willie Nelson, Randy Travis, etc), or Native Americans who just want their sacred land protected from eminent domain theft but felt their culture was appropriated by our selling of this jean. We meant no disrespect at all. We merely wanted a few more bucks thrown our way before we go under, like Sears and JC Penney.”

These jeans are a Halloween costume, not fashion. But this is mainstream America, where women are men, white is black, and hard work costs $425. Beam me up, Scotty… I’m ready to get outta here.