Tom Brady has found a bit of success as a professional football player. Yet despite this, he still has a chip on his shoulder from being drafted late by the New England Patriots. People inevitably find this fascinating and admire him for being so motivated. So I figure, if anyone ever says I’m being grumpy or bitter from now on, I’m going to tell them that’s not true. I’ll tell them, “I’m just livin’ life with a chip on my shoulder.”

It seems that every year some gushing sports personality talks about Brady having a chip on his shoulder from being selected in the sixth round of the NFL draft. (Search the web for “tom brady chip on shoulder” and you’ll see what I mean.) The sports personality laughs or giggles at this, and expresses awe at the so-called drive.

I never understood any of it. Brady has won a bunch of Super Bowls and he makes a lot of money. He’s also famous and has a supermodel trophy wife—you know, the one who “frisked” that other lady in that movie with that guy who now has that late night talk show.

So how can Brady still have a chip on his shoulder? And how can everyone think this is such a great thing—that he is a good guy for it?

I don’t know. And I’ve given up on trying to figure it out.

But I do know this: if Brady can have a chip on his shoulder despite no seeming reason for why he should, then I’m definitely claiming one for myself.

After all, I’ve had my health insurance stolen from me—I no longer can afford medical care. I work hard to survive in an economy where it’s increasingly difficult to survive without a government job. My country tore down its moral foundations, and it celebrates it while demonizing the few of us who note that it’s a bad thing. Our leaders do the opposite for what is best for the nation. They refuse to win wars. And they are doing everything they can to help people who hate America to conquer it.

In short, I fight every day just to survive. And this means that if ever someone thinks that I’m being grumpy or that I’m bitter, I can confidentially tell them they are wrong.

Indeed, I am happy as a clam. But I am livin’ life with a giant, Tom Brady-like chip on my shoulder as I attempt to survive.

Now, start giggling and telling me how in awe you are of my motivation to succeed.