Though it is much less common these days, some couples still choose to wait until they are lawfully wedded to lose their virginities. Reasons range from religion, to personal safety or preference. Even fewer of these conservative couples choose to share their first time experiences, and those that have, tend to do so anonymously on Reddit. I have read many of the testimonies, and was not surprised to find that the majority of contributors revealed that their first time was not that satisfying. In fact, one newlywed declared “it was NOT the best sex ever. Not even close.”
Others who had waited until their wedding night to have sex described their initial experience was a “disaster”, or “Short, disappointing, and shameful due to the duration”.
Most would predict that two people who have never made the beast with two backs before would not be experts on the matter. It takes practice, and a sexual as well as physical openness that virgins have never had the chance to partake in before. One who has never had sex obviously does not know what they or a partner likes.
Perhaps less predictable, is that studies have shown that couples who had waited until marriage to have sex reported a more fulfilling relationship and bedroom situation. A professor leading one of the studies, Dean Busby, said “There’s more to a relationship than sex, but we did find that those who waited longer were happier with the sexual aspect of their relationship. I think it’s because they’ve learned to talk and have the skills to work with issues that come up.”
This is definitely believable. Communication is key in any relationship, and it doesn’t just apply to sex. This may be why one man in the Reddit forum said he knew he was in the minority and actually had a “fantastic” first time with his new wife. He credited it to the lengthy discussions he had had with her before the big night, and she even consulted her OBGYN: “A couple months before the wedding, she went to her OBGYN and told him her plan. He gave her something I’ve never seen before: a series of plastic “expanders” that increased in size….or basically, just cheap, plastic dildos that no one would ever actually use to stimulate themselves. They started out really small….like the size of a pencil…and increased in size to be about average penis size. So she basically stretched herself out beforehand. This resulted in a MUCH more pleasurable and pain-free experience for her.”
Despite the majority’s reports of terrible first time experiences, Reddit users who had waited exclaimed that their sex lives steadily got better. In the end, the vast majority of them claimed to have sex lives that evolved over time and became deeply satisfying. Many even said that they would not take back their less than satisfactory original experience, because it was a happening which they still held close to their hearts. The positive aspects of their first experience seemed to outweigh any negative outcomes, and some users even revealed that they look back at it fondly because they can also laugh at it now. One couple was even walked in on in their hotel room, and they had spilled an entire bottle of lube on the bed beforehand. Another man confessed “I had razor burnt my wedding tackle right before losing my virginity. It only hurt on the in thrusts though so at least I had that going for me, which was nice.” Though it may have been nerveracking, it wasn’t difficult for these couples to reflect on the comedic value of their first experiences.
Some men and women understandably swear by “test driving” before “buying”, but it is obvious that waiting introduces many benefits to a relationship, too. Don’t write-off those who wait, because they make some great points, based on highly-developed couples communication, and learning together.