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Conservatives Will Never Win the Culture War

Written by on 1 June 2017

Conservatives will never win the culture war. I’m sorry to break this to you. Our ostensible political party sometimes wins elections, but these victories are both temporary and ephemeral, at best. What does winning the culture war even mean? Have you considered what winning would look like? What are the terms of victory? The progressive, […]

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You Really Can’t Go Home Again

Written by on 25 May 2017

One thing that the Manhattan Institute’s Kay Hymowitz and I have in common is that we both went to Cheltenham High School in southeastern Pennsylvania, though I attended some years after she did. Professional baseball player Reggie Jackson also went to Cheltenham, as did Israel’s Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. The less said about my academic […]

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The Constitutionalist’s Race for Dunkirk

Written by on 19 May 2017

If you are a Constitutionalist, you are incredibly unpopular right now. You are completely unwelcome in the Democratic Party, and The GOP (for decades the bastion of Constitutionalism) is treating you like the ex-girlfriend it only calls when it is between girlfriends and wants a sure booty call. The Libertarian party mostly seemed distracted by […]

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Mother’s Day 2017 After-Action Report

Written by on 15 May 2017

Now that Mother’s Day 2017 has come and gone, we need to address some serious issues about motherhood in America. Some of you will be offended by what I’m about to reveal. If you are, take a good hard look in the mirror, smash the glass into pieces, and turn on Facebook instead: self-examination isn’t […]

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Stephen Colbert, Special Snowflakes, and Media Panic Explained

Written by on 3 May 2017

Stephen Colbert’s disgusting, homophobic rant about President Trump; special snowflake safe spaces on college campuses; and news media pretenses about press rights being eviscerated under our new fascist regime all have the same root cause, and it’s not ideology. That progressives engage in this behavior is incidental to a deeper problem, one that we must […]

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Murder Most Melodious: My Favorite Down-Home Death Songs

Written by on 3 May 2017

Concerned citizens: “Movies and video games are so violent today.” Bluegrass musicians: “Hold my moonshine…” Political arguments come and go, but when the ideological fights du jour have faded into something new, always in season is the question, “Is there too much glorified violence in the movies and in television?” Short answer: Yes. Long answer: […]

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One Trump, Well Roasted

Written by on 2 May 2017

About a month ago I went on a Groucho Marx YouTube binge, watching the videos then moving on to the recommended links. I ended up on the Friar’s Club roasts of the early Seventies. Although I was a kid at the time, my family would hurt ourselves laughing as titans of comedy mercilessly ripped each other. […]

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Free Speech in the Age of Social Media

Written by on 2 May 2017

Please keep in mind that whenever I say “you” in this piece, I don’t mean you. I mean somebody else who isn’t you. This also goes for “we” and “our.” When I say we, I mean other people including me, but not you. Unless it’s about something good, in which case you’re included in the […]

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Stop Using “Dick”-tionary Definitions

Written by on 26 April 2017

Have you ever met uppity, know-it-alls on social media who try to debate you with facts and textbook definitions meant to validate opinions. Well, according to Everyday Feminism, they are using their dick-tionary. Don’t be intimidated, especially when engaging with serious topics like racism. And, whatever you do, don’t be suckered into cracking open a dictionary which […]

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