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By now, the virtual, remote, or real-life-but-isolated-like-a-bubble-boy school has begun for most kids across the country. This year’s situation is certainly unusual, making it hard to get into that back-to-school spirit.
Luckily, we have plenty of 1980s school videos to get us ready, and make new generations wonder just what exactly went on the in the classroom during this decade, from inappropriate teacher/student relations to coeds in lingerie. Here’s are five prime examples. (RELATED: Four Video Game-Based Movies or Television Series in the Works)
“Hot for Teacher” from Van Halen
How can you not love David Lee Roth’s “I don’t care what you think of me” sense of humor? The kid versions of Van Halen members sizing up the sexy school staff and the light bondage vibe of detention might not pass some of the purity tests of today, but this video is quintessential Van Halen.
Seriously, though, the only thing that I really found unsettling was that weird creepy mom at the beginning. Run, little nerd. Run far. Run fast.
“Don’t Stand So Close to Me” by The Police
This was my first exposure to The Police that set me on the road as a long-time lover of Sting’s music. Unlike the party-on vibe of Van Halen’s bikini show, this song took a dark-yet-catchy tone of what happens when a teacher tries to cross the line of faculty/student bonds, Lolita reference and all.
I was still in middle school when this was released, and was looking forward to seeing the kind of “young teacher…school girl’s fantasy” hot, shirtless, British teachers that would be awaiting me.
Short answer…not a damned one. Thank you, reality.
“Total Eclipse of the Heart” Bonnie Tyler
Uh-oh, someone let Bonnie loose in the boys’ school when this mega hit was released. She “cougared” through a ton of high school aged boys for some mutual pining and just a teensy bit of shirtless perving. Oh yeah, and dancing Ninjas and ghosts kids.
It’s like seeing the cast of Dead Poets Society on acid written as a fanfiction by a lonely housewife. Even so, this was a really great sing-along that still haunts all our karaoke dreams.
”Centerfold” by J. Geils Band
Our high school included eighth grade at the time, so I remember our first pep rally as young newbies. “Centerfold” was the song the band chose to play and the custie-poo cheerleaders chose to dance to.
It’s a hard song to resist, admittedly. J. Geils Band wrote some worthy earworms, even if the idea of Playboy models bouncing in the classroom might leave some freshmen boys with those distracting “warm fuzzies.”
You all remember that poor kid: “You guys go ahead…I need to sit here a minute to get notes in order.”
“(She’s) Sexy & 17” by Stray Cats
I was a huge Stray Cats fangirl all through high school, and just knew when I turned 17 I was going to be a sexy vixen like Brian Setzer’s “Little Marie” in this school-dissing “cool kids” video. Now, at 51, I’m still waiting to achieve that level of cool (not gonna happen).
I also realize, as the mother of a next-generation 18-year-old Stray Cats fan, there was no way “Marie” in the video was actually 17. Real 17-year-old boys in the 1980s, however, most likely didn’t care.
As a Gen-X former high schooler of the 1980s, I can wholeheartedly say that my high school certainly wasn’t a sexy party-on experience, but at least we had some awesome music videos to keep us rockin’, rollin’ and feeling just a wee bit uncomfortable. (RELATED: Four Characters Influenced by ‘The Shadow’)