‘Hawkeye’ Trailer Just Reeks of Disney

Here we go. We got the trailer for Hawkeye for Disney Plus. Take a look. We did. This whole thing absolutely reeks of Disney. And by Disney I mean corporate suits making decisions about a project.

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After watching the trailer I gotta bad feeling about Hawkeye, and I wasn’t super fired up to begin with. What have they done?

First? They set the series around Christmas. (Family!) Okay…that’s not too bad. Hawkeye went over the edge when his family was snapped out of existence by Thanos. Dude went on a global murder spree. Sure. He wants to reconnect with his family. That’s enough! Stop right there. That’s interesting.

Hawkeye made a bunch of enemies who want to kill him. He wants to protect his family, but he’s terrified of the killing machine he becomes. If he turns into a monster to protect his family will they ever be able to love him again? Does he have to become the thing he hates to save what he loves the most? Can you come back from that? Gimme that show.

What we got was wisecracking Hawkeye shopping with the fam. Uh oh! Here come the bad guys. See you later family, I gotta tie up some loose ends. And uh oh! What’s this? A girl who needs me as a mentor? Ohhhhh you scrappy sidekick…you gotta lot to learn! That’s the Disney part.

“Let’s give him someone he has to mentor…he has to be a father figure to. But he doesn’t know how to be a dad! He’s got to deal with a streetwise girl who’s like a daughter and shoots a bow just as good as him! Oh boy! What’s gonna happen when they fight about what she’s wearing?! This’ll be great! We’ll hit all the demos! And the scenes of Hawkeye and her arguing will be pure gold! Holy shit, Sharyl! Then at the end of the show…it’s Christmas! And they’re all a big family! She’s learned something…but more than that? She’s taught Hawkeye something about how to be a dad!”

Please Lord, let me be wrong. I don’t want to watch the Disney Channel sitcom of Hawkeye. At all. It comes out Nov. 24 on Disney Plus. (Or is it “+”?)

About the Author
Writer, Comedian, Geek, Purveyor of the Sexy Heathen lifestyle. Sometimes on TV. AKA 'The Mgmt.' Always hanging round TheLoftusParty.com

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