By Sack Head Shaun
While appearing on a show where dozens tuned in and the audience was just trying to find a place to not be robbed while in L.A., Democratic Rep Eric Swalwell announced he is running for California Governor for 2026. Swalwell, best known for his relations with China and using words like “bullshit” on social media to portray masculinity, is one of about 50 Democrats running for the Governorship.
The Dems race is currently being led by Katie Porter and a side of mashed potatoes (scalding, allegedly). Swalwell has a proven political history of pretending to be a tough guy, being a giant hypocrite, and yelling into a camera when he has no other options. The sort of thing that California is used to, given that is the same approach that Gavin Newsom currently uses.
Like Newsom, Swalwell also gets his subordinates to run his social media so they can make him seem tough and edgy, which never carries over to his actual interviews or speeches.
What He Is “Known” For
Swalwell’s biggest accomplishment is being the “Impeachment Manager” in the failed impeachment attempt against President Trump. His other great roles in Congress have been:
• “Shirtless nerd climbing out of a pool to give a staged speech to social media”
• “Weird nerd bench pressing 145 pounds to seem tough while giving a staged speech to social media”
The Gift That Keeps On Giving
There was also this other thing about some girl that we never got real details on, but I am 100 percent sure the Biden FBI staunchly investigated it and definitely did not bury anything that would have ruined his political career, there is no way she pegged him, as an easy target.
Oh right, there was also his failed bid to run for President back in 2019, an attempt that was over quicker than dinner at a Chinese Takeout (yep, another one, still more meat on that bone that is the spy jokes).
But now he has to wear his big boy panties, which of course is pull ups diapers and no longer regular baby diapers. Why? Well, he is venturing into this race which includes the likes of:
Democratic Primary Candidates
- Ethan Agarwal, tech entrepreneur and unknown tech bro
- Xavier Becerra, former U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services (2021–2025) and former Attorney General of California (2017–2021), and current scandal participant though not indicted
- Carolina Buhler, UCLA student and allegedly an activist
- Ian Calderon, former majority leader of the California Assembly (2016–2020) from the 57th district (2012–2020), his whole family has served in California Politics, a less successful Newsom
- Stephen Cloobeck, founder of Diamond Resorts and Only Fans enthusiast
- Zoltan Istvan, founder of the Transhumanist Party, Libertarian candidate for governor in 2018, and Republican candidate for president in 2020, I don’t need to add anything here
- Thunder Parley, software engineer and mustachioed guy who gets the url “VoteThunder.com”
- Katie Porter, former U.S. representative and Senate candidate and mashed potato distrubution expert (allegedly)
- Raji Rab, pilot and perennial candidate who doesn’t have a wikipedia
- Tom Steyer, billionaire activist and former presidential candidate who tried to buy votes, allegedly
- Eric Swalwell, the most boring man ever
- Tony Thurmond, California State Superintendent of Public Instruction, California Schools rank 37th nationally
- Antonio Villaraigosa, former mayor of Los Angeles, spanish language news caster enthusiast and pyramid scheme consultant
- Betty Yee, California Democratic Party vice chair and former state controller and Covid contract fixer
- A Ficus, who was probably appointed to some California state board and paid
And according to a recent Berkeley poll, the leading candidate is actually Republican Chad Bianco, the current Riverside County Sheriff.
California politics is, not ironically, a wildfire right now. By that I mean: Newsom created the conditions, the political winds are all over the place, and the Democrats are screaming about how they are doing everything they can to fix it, meanwhile residents suffer. Lets just hope some idiot with gas doesn’t walk by and light it off.
By Sack Head Shaun
Host of The Edge of Liberty, airing Mondays and Wednesdays at 8pm PST on SHR Media and KLRN Radio.
Read more at SHR Media
Follow on X: @2AgainstTyranny
Shaun, Is there anyone as insufferable as Eric Swallwell? Rarely do you see a man of such ego and complete ignorance. He sure loves him some him. I don’t know who does his social media ,but I hope they never leave because it is a comedic gold mine.
If he’s involved in a House hearing, he gets his nads handed to him by a Republican everytime. It’s hilarious. I don’t know who is telling him to run for governor ,but after seeing the list of candidates so far, I give the ficus the clear advantage.
I will have to tune into Youtube to see if he does any kind of debate against that horrid Annie Wilkes look alike Katie Porter because I don’t want to miss that car wreck. Another excellent and hilarious article Shaun.