Here’s the trailer for The Death of Robin Hood with Hugh Jackman. It’s gritty looking. It’s dark. And after the trailer I think we’ll all have some thoughts. I know I do!

Okay! So, there it is. What looks to be a finely acted and directed movie! It’s The Death of Robin Hood! An aging Robin, played by Hugh Jackman goes on an uber violent spree after a long life of killing people that he appears to regret. Huh. Neat.

Now according to legend, Robin Hood was betrayed by his cousin. He needed medical help, and she cut him so deeply he bled out. Did you know that? Me neither! Yeah, they say she was working for some enemy of Robin’s and she killed Robin Hood. Huh. That’s depressing as all hell. So, the hero of Sherwood Forest was betrayed by family at the end. Huh. I didn’t need to know that. And I don’t need to see a depressing ass movie about it. How about them apples.

I can see this Robin Hood story being fun to talk about at Hollywood parties. I can hear everyone talking about how this story has never been told and blah, blah, blah. You know this death of Robin Hood story hasn’t been all over the big screen? Because it’s depressing as fuck. That’s why.

Hollywood is so cooked. It’s the entertainment industry, everybody! Entertain us! Stop with the woke and the depressing shit! I don’t need to see Robin Hood die. I don’t need to see Han Solo killed. I have zero interest in the death of Iron Man. Stop killing your heroes. You need them! To tell stories of daring do. Stories where the good guys win! Can you imagine spending a small fortune and seeing this in the theater? Oh wow. Hell to the no.

Now maybe I’m wrong about the whole thing. Hopefully Robin Hood rides off into the sunset with friar Tuck and Little John at the end of this picture and I’m an asshole. But you know what else? I’m not going to find out in the movie theater. Ha! No way in hell. Hollywood can kill our heroes on their own dime. There’s no release date yet and that’s fine with me.