Think of this as a public service announcement. I’m giving you the heads up about Valentine’s Day. Start getting ready now. Nothing is as unsexy as panic. Maybe fear is as unsexy but I consider fear and panic to be fruit of the same tree. And it’s lame. So, plan ahead ya sexy heathens!

First question you want to ask yourself: What is going to be a good time for Valentine’ Day? You wanna just open a card and have some chocolate? Or do you want to be in a hotel room in fetish gear wondering about how loud things are getting? It’s up to you! But start getting ready now. Make sure you and your other are on the same page, but have a great time with whatever you choose.

February sucks. It’s still cold and dark and depressing. Use Valentine’s Day as that hot lifeline that it is. It’s a beacon of hope in a dreary ass time of year. So, heads up. Whether it’s flowers and candy or spankings and butt stuff, Get ready.

As far as spicy lingerie goes? Trashy Lingerie in LA has some fantastic stuff. But you gotta get moving. Here’s a link for that.

Here’s some inspiration from Maison Close. Again: Get going!

Maybe you want to do something more sedate and ‘cozy’… that’s cool. Here’s things to get ya started. I asked AI for ‘Cozy’ Valentines Day ideas and damn, that robot didn’t do too bad.

Candlelit Homemade Dinner
Cook (or order in) a simple but special meal together, set the table with candles, dim lights, and play soft music. Add rose petals or heart-shaped touches for extra romance—it’s all about slow, quality time chatting over food.

Indoor Picnic
Spread a blanket on the living room floor, add pillows, fairy lights, and your favorite snacks/charcuterie. Enjoy wine or hot cocoa while lounging—no shoes required.

Cozy Movie Marathon
Build a blanket fort or pile up pillows on the couch, pick romantic comedies or your shared favorites, and stock up on popcorn and treats. Bonus: start with the first movie you watched together.

Snuggling & S’mores
If you have a fireplace (or even a candle setup), cuddle up with blankets, roast marshmallows indoors, and sip hot drinks while talking or just enjoying the glow.

Home Spa Night
Draw a bubble bath (or take turns with massages), use face masks, light scented candles, and play relaxing music. It’s pampering and intimate—perfect for unwinding together.Puzzle or Game Night
Work on a jigsaw puzzle (maybe one of a special photo or romantic scene) or play cozy board games/couples trivia. Add wine and snacks—it’s low-pressure fun that sparks laughs and closeness.

Breakfast in Bed
Sleep in, then surprise each other with homemade treats like pancakes or coffee on a tray. Stay in pajamas all morning for ultimate coziness and sweet, lazy conversation.

Write Love Notes & Share Memories
Exchange handwritten letters or notes about what you love about each other, then reminisce with old photos. Pair it with cuddling under a blanket—simple but deeply heartfelt. Fondue or Chocolate Tasting
Set up cheese or chocolate fondue with fruits, marshmallows, and dips. It’s interactive, playful, and delicious—great for feeding each other and keeping things light. Slow Dance in the Living Room
Create a playlist of “your” songs, dim the lights, and just dance slowly (or silly) together. No fancy moves needed—just hold each other close.

Here’s the big takeaway: Don’t be running around the CVS looking for a card on the night of Valentine’s in a panic. Trust me, you don’t want that.