‘Morbius’ Trailer: We’re Not Going To The Theater For This

Hey you guys! The trailer for Morbius just came out! The new movie with a Marvel character that’s kinda in the MCU but not really. Yeah!…um…yeah.

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Kinda tough to get excited about Morbius. Its another one like Venom. Sure they get invited to the Marvel family reunion but no one really hangs with them. They’re the weird 3rd cousins. But let’s not dwell on that. Let’s talk the Morbius trailer.

First off, I don’t like the pre-trailer to the trailer. What IS that? Other movies are doing this too. A mini trailer before the trailer. Makes zero sense. You’re killing the very suspense you’re trying to build. Effectively kicking your own balls before trying to run. Please make this trend stop.

To say I was less than impressed with the Morbius trailer would be just about right. It seems very “by the numbers.” Just so predictable. Jared Leto is weird. Whaaaa? Shock. He’s got standard issue vampire powers. Whaaaa? He’s also got “some kind of bat radar.” WTF? That’s called sonar. Are we sure he’s a doctor? He seems stupid.

Good news? Michael Keaton! But is he Vulture? Lord, I hope so. But I won’t pin my hopes on one cameo. Here’s what I’ll do. Pretend this movie doesn’t exist and be surprised when it hits Netflix and there’s nothing else to watch! Hooray!

So bye-bye, Morbius. I’ll see ya when you’re streaming. You’re a distant cousin of cool stuff and if ya want me to be interested in you? Ya gotta be interesting. And ya ain’t. Sorry.

About the Author
Writer, Comedian, Geek, Purveyor of the Sexy Heathen lifestyle. Sometimes on TV. AKA 'The Mgmt.' Always hanging round TheLoftusParty.com

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