June is gone. Pride month is over. Now it’s time to set out sites on a new celebration: July and Slut Month! Congratulations everyone! This is going to be great! Now, what is Slut Month, you may be asking? Fair question. It’s a month of awareness of the joys of straight people banging! Good time, old school, hooking up with your spouse, clapping cheeks in every style under the sun! We are talking about a celebration of married couples just knocking boots in the style of their own choosing! All month long! If the folks that enjoy same sex banging, get a month, then by golly so do the married peeps! Let’s have a parade too! Everyone is going to want to get on the Slut Month bandwagon! And the best part? No judgement! If anything, a corporation is going to want to sponsor your committed debauchery! Why not? You’re married!
If anyone gets a month of awareness, it should be married couples. And if anyone should be encouraged to bang, it’s married people. So here you go. July is an entire month dedicated to couples getting freaky. Ladies don’t hold back. If there’s anything freaky you’ve wanted to try with your husband? It’s slut month! You secretly want some backdoor hot yoga action? You got it. Want to roll play a little bedroom rodeo? Do it! It’s slut month! 31 days of 31 flavors of getting your freak on. We deserve it.
If we want anyone to do more knocking of the boots, it’s married people. The press that married peeps has been horrible for decades. They seem miserable every time you turn on the TV or watch a movie or commercial. Nows the time to turn it all around with Slut Month! Everyone will be jealous of all the fun you’re having! Late for work? No problem! You were up late playing hide the salami! The boss can’t get mad or they’re a bigot! You get special treatment because you’re straight! And it’s slut month! Why should straight people get a piece of the DEI apple?! Now, with Slut Month, they can!
So, grab the lube and whatever toys and costumes you think you’ll want all you wonderful straight people. It’s Slut Month. Make it count.
