Howdy! I watched the season 3 premier of HBO’s House of the Dragon last night. I may have whiplash now. Oh well. More on that in a moment. First, I’d like to point out that I didn’t mention GRR Martin in the title. That’s because I don’t think he has too much to do with the show beyond major plot points. Like: This person dies and then that person get’s mad. Stuff like that, just names and dates.

Okay, so let’s talk about House of the Dragon, season 3 episode 1. Here’s my main thought: I don’t care. I don’t care about any of it. I have more sympathy for the CGI Dragons than I do for the characters in this thing. People just do things in this series and then a CGI Dragon dies. It’s all horribly unpredictable with the exception of CGI Dragons biting the digital dust. Sad.

I still don’t know anyone’s name. Everyone seems capable of incredibly dumb, naive or devious behavior. Whatever need to happen just kind of happens. House of the Dragon is a roller coaster of disbelief. Scenes will just keep going, so they can double back and try to emotionally manipulate you. It’s a trick that gets really old, really fast. Last night’s premier was a great example. Just going on and on, only to do some lame emotional rug pull.

Hint to the writers: When you do the emotional rug pull every episode it loses its weight. The audience doesn’t care anymore. The trick stops working. Sadly, that seems to be the fate of House of the Dragon. Characters just do things and people get mad and a CGI dragon pays the ultimate price. Oh! And there’s not nearly enough T&A. If I’m going to watch a show about dragons, with characters I don’t care about? Can we at least get some gratuitous nude scenes? This is HBO for goodness sake.

Here’s what HBO wants us to look forward to on this season of House of the Dragon. I don’t know any of these people’s names. Yawn.