Where is Mitch McConnell? For real.

You’d think more people would want to know the answer to this question: Where is Mitch McConnell? This is one of those crazy things we should even have to ask though, really. The guy is kind of a key player in the senate and there’s more than a few people who think he’s already passed.

Yes, it sounds ghoulish and we hope the guy is okay. But this is just bizarre. McConnell, 84, last voted June 11 and missed all roll calls from mid-June to late July; his office released a July 26 photo and statement confirming intense physical therapy, polio-related mobility issues, and that he is not yet cleared to return to work or events.

I am among those who think that McConnell and his camp are playing politics. If Mitch McConnell were to suddenly pass away, that would lead to a special election! And someone doesn’t want a special election. That would upend the carefully laid plans. That’s just opinion. But as we get closer to the deadline, the memes about McConnell already being dead are popping up.

And I’d just like to remind everyone that it’s 2026. How hard is it to prove someone is alive? Especially a Senator! That seems important. Maybe someone on his staff could do a video of Mitch, with his phone. It seems like staffers are doing other stuff!

Just FYI: Kentucky law requires a special election for Senate vacancies more than three months before Election Day, after which the seat would likely remain vacant until the winner of the already-scheduled November race is sworn in January 2027.

Do we want people who can’t use a phone to take a video in important positions? Do we know is Mitch McConnell is alive? Are they trying to pull off a fast one for political purposes? These are all deeply disturbing questions. I’m shocked that more people aren’t asking: Where is Mitch McConnell?

About the Author
Writer, Comedian, Geek, Purveyor of the Sexy Heathen lifestyle. Sometimes on TV. AKA 'The Mgmt.' Always hanging round TheLoftusParty.com

4 comments on “Where is Mitch McConnell? For real.

  1. Sheree says:

    I’ve been wondering where the Turtle has been myself since it is way too early for him to be in hibernation. Can someone contact law enforcement and request a wellness check? IDK. What I do know is that Mr. Burchett is correct in calling DC a retirement village. It is bad. I am so ready for the Revolution to begin.
    God Bless America! πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‘πŸ˜πŸ’œ

    1. The Mgmt. says:

      Amen! Let’s get fired up!

  2. Lynne Kohut says:

    This Mitch Mc Connell saga is getting stranger by the day. They actually put up missing posters of him up all over DC and KY Gov.Andy Brashear called for him prove he’s still able to do his job or resign. Conspiracy theories are rampant. Why can’t he put out a video message? Why is his chief of staff doing his job? I agree with what you’re saying about the special election. I think it’s to hold his no vote on the SAVE Act in place in case he happens to pass away or is too incapacitated to return to the Senate. It makes you wonder who is in kahoots to pull a fast one in the Senate. No one knows or cares to know where he is. I’m shocked that TMZ or James O’Keefe haven’t broken this story yet. Is the GOP waiting for his Amitron replacement like they have at the Hall of Presidents to be finished? So much more lifelike than Mitch. All I know is that our government isn’t supposed to function this way. Loved the article. Thanks Michael!

    1. The Mgmt. says:

      It’s really super concerning. I don’t like it one bit. I think he’s either dead or in some vegetative state… That would explain the lack of video for sure. Maybe he had a massive stroke and can’t speak. They should have been transparent and held an election. They just really don’t want Thomas Massie in there. That’s what I’m thinking.

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