First of all, yes, this IS the Politics page.

Second? What a title! Buttholes, fingerprints, and your money. This video has it all. Are buttholes unique like fingerprints? Get ready to find out. Comedian Michael Loftus has the answers. Now what does your money have to do with this? Stanford University’s “smart toilet.” The Loftus Party found out the inside scoop on the smart toilet, butthole fingerprint, money connection. You’ll laugh and you’ll learn. Mission accomplished! (RELATED: $6.9M from the Feds for a Toilet that Can Read Your ‘Analprint?’ (It Happened))

Just a side note: I laugh ever time I read this title. Every. Time. This one belongs in a museum. — The Mgmt