Stop Messing with the Clocks!

Can we please be done with this shit now? Stop messing with the clocks! This weekend we’ll all move our clocks forward an hour and our national game of make believe will be over for a few months. It’s ridiculous. Stop. Just stop!

Every winter we do this collective bullshit of moving our clocks back an hour and we all just pretend it’s normal. It’s fucking not. It’s beyond stupid and it needs to end.

Daylight saving time? More like national moron time. Ohhhhh look at that, it’s full dark at 4 in the afternoon. No. No more.

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Guess what else? I give zero shits why we started doing it. Once upon a time I was semi-interested but that ship has sailed. For the farmers? Don’t give a shit. Save energy? Don’t give a shit. For school bus drivers? Don’t give a single shit.

The fact that the reason this shit started ISN’T common knowledge proves my point. We don’t need it. If we DID need it we’d fucking know why! And there would be some kind of payoff. There isn’t. Because it’s stupid.

I will support any politician’s effort to end this madness. I will march with Nancy Pelosi. I will hold hands with Chuck Schumer. I will make out with Kyrsten Sinema! I am prepared to do that. I am! Whatever it takes to be done with daylight saving.

About the Author
Writer, Comedian, Geek, Purveyor of the Sexy Heathen lifestyle. Sometimes on TV. AKA 'The Mgmt.' Always hanging round TheLoftusParty.com

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