The hashtag trending on X right now is #boycottsuperbowl. That’s big. Something big must’ve happened for hashtag like that to trend. Now, I had to go looks and see what happened that would make that many people upset with the NFL. Why would I have to go look it up? Because, my friends, I gave up and turned my back on the NFL ages ago. But this isn’t about me. This is about Football, fairness and a better future. For real.

So, let’s see what has people so pissed off. Just to kind of catch up for the layman. And people like me. People who used to love the game. At every level. High School, college, pros. All of it. What has Portnoy so pissed he’s tagging the NFL Commissioner.

Okay, I agree with Portnoy. Horrible call. Just horrible. Were there others though?

Evidently lots of bad calls against the Bills. Hmmm. Now it would stand to reason that the NFL would want the Chiefs to win so they could get Taylor Swift’s girl fans watching the Super Bowl. That’s what we’re all thinking, right? Of course. They would have better ratings for the game if just a quarter of her fanbase watched. I get the logic.

Now here’s the spot that the NFL finds themselves in. People are hip to the ratings aspect.

The NFL finds itself in quite the pickle. Damned if they do and damned if they don’t. The winner in all of this? Anyone who really doesn’t watch. I mean that sincerely. Years ago, I couldn’t imagine my life without football. Then the Cleveland Browns left for Baltimore, and I swore a blood oath that the NFL and I were parting ways. Best. Decision. EVER. I just stopped watching and I did different shit. It’s fantastic. No more hats or jerseys or anything with an NFL logo. And here’s the other big secret: It’s easy AF to not watch! It’s insanely easy to completely turn you back to all of it.

It’s not like you need to find a new thing. You’ve got plenty of great stuff to do already! Just enjoy that shit more!

Another upside? If this boycott actually hurts the NFL? Maybe they wake up and realize the errors of their ways. Maybe future generations can enjoy an honest game? Good for them. You and I won’t know because we’ll be doing cooler shit like racing hover bikes on Mars. Whatever.

The bottom line is this: Sports are great. I love sport. Professional sports have gotten too far away from the thing we all love. Honest competition. Once the whiff of rigged outcomes comes into it? It should be over. For everybody involved. If you watch something you think is rigged? You’re an idiot. That’s not what sports is. So, until it’s clearly fair? Don’t watch. You’ll be glad you didn’t.

The only thing missing is the degenerate gambler aspect. So, let’s gamble on how many people actually boycott the game. We’ll do this to keep those guys happy. We can do an over-under on the ratings. Plus 3 or minus 5’s for certain demographics. It’ll be fun! Percentage of one-legged polish girls under 40 who didn’t watch. We’ll figure out the details. I’m frankly surprised I didn’t think of this sooner.

And another thing! I’m not mad a Taylor Swift. That’s just stupid to get mad at that girl. She wasn’t on the field. She’s not a ref. So, let’s leave her out of it. Lots of people like her music and that doen’t make her a villain. So, lighten up on ol’ Taylor. She says she can Shake It Off, but that might just be a cover story.