Not all new years’ resolutions are created equal. Some are far worse than others. Now, personally, I’m not a fan of new year’s resolutions at all. However, I thought today would be great day to make up a bunch of bad ones. Some will hopefully be funny, and some will maybe make you stop and think. Either way. It’s a good idea for a news years day post and I’m running with it.
1. Stop making new year’s resolutions. If you want to make a change in your life? Just do it. And you can start any day. You decide. You don’t have to wait for new year’s. Just start.
2. If you have more than one resolution? Think about why that is. There’s a bigger reason.
3. Don’t make lists. Lists of resolutions are silly and lists are generally frowned upon by strong willed people.
4. Go read 3 again. It’s gets funnier.
5. IF you make a new year’s resolution, do not tell me (or anyone for that matter) that you did. We don’t care. If you’re going to start working out? Go the gym. I don’t want to talk with you about it over brunch. Go get your weak ass on the elliptical or whatever.
6. Don’t judge people who make resolutions. And if you do? Don’t admit it publicly like on a post or anything. Be cool about it.
7. Shit. I may have fucked up.
8. And this is a real one: You can do whatever you truly set your mind to. It’s not about resolutions. It’s about wanting to truly make a change. And guess what? You can. You can do it. Happy New Year.
And if you have a bad new year’s resolution. Slap that thing in the comments. We wanna hear it!
Charles Lamb once said “New Year’s Day is every man’s birthday”. A chance to reinvent yourself with resolutions. Well…the second Friday in January is known as “Quitter’s Day” ,when a huge portion of those resolutions hit the wall. Vegetables,promised to be eaten,go moldy. Exercise equipment turns into a clothes hanger.
A bad resolution is that you should never do a group resolution at work like lunchtime group walks or diets. What were you thinking?
You’re just asking to be hounded by multiple people if you slack off or quit all together. It’s
always the perky,exercise & nutrition shrew asking “Are we skipping our lunchtime walk today? or “Are you really going to eat that cheesesteak?” Damn right, while I’m sitting at my desk planning your demise if you don’t stop bugging me about it.
New Year’s resolutions are just the worst,but we still make them anyway knowing full well Quitter’s Day is right around the corner.
“May your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolution”–Joey Adams
I always feel kinda bad for the people who make resolutions in front of their friends and coworkers. Ouch. When they fall off the wagon? They lose all that respect AND they still have the problem they resolved themselves against. Double ouch