Let’s make fun of Portland! Let’s embrace the stupidity of it all, because Portland is a ridiculous place. We need to mock it and we need to do so regularly. So here’s an idea: Riots as tourism.
The riots are such a regular part of daily life they should probably think about incorporating them into the “Visit Portland” travel brochure. They should advertise the regular riots as an activity for out of towners! Come visit Portland, see the sights and maybe burn down a random building, all in the name of whatever ya want to yell.
At this point the riots are like the bats that fly out from underneath bridges in Texas every night. You might as well steer into the curve and start advertising the riots as a plus. Kind of an “extreme sport” for the next generation of tourists!
If no one is going to stop them? Why not make some money? You can sell shirts! “I went to Portland and all I got was this bloody shirt!” or, “Burn it down for (your name here)!” or, “What do we want? A violent vacation! When do we want it? Now!” The possibilities are endless.
And if you think this won’t work, let me remind you there were more riots just the other day! The morons in Portland aren’t giving up. The people have a “can riot” attitude, and city leadership seems to be on board by letting them go wild and just standing by! Here’s the latest footage!