Sweet Girl

In what I hope will become a regular feature, I will write reviews for movies that we oldsters watch from the comfort of our plether EZ-chairs rather than getting up and going out to the theaters. Classics, older movies you saw back in the day or just now got around to seeing, and more recent original streaming content will be covered.

(RELATED: Total Labyrinth)

Do you want a current movie review? Son, you’re in the wrong place. Go check out Hollywood in Toto for that business. This will be whatever Uncle Cranky saw last night after an early dinner.

So welcome to issue #1 of Middle Age Movie Reviews and the Netflix original Sweet Girl.

The movie opens with an action sequence in progress. Helicopters. Spotlights. A dangerous precipice high above Pittsburgh. Danger! We then back up a bit to meet the happy family. “OK,” you think to yourself, “standard fare revenge action flick with Jason Momoa apparently playing this generation’s Steven Seagal.”

Fortunately, we are treated to a little more character development. Ray Cooper (Momoa) our honest, hard working, lower middle class protagonist builds relatability. He’s a good, loving husband and father. Except for the weird voice over narration about children or something, which makes about as much sense as Jim Morrison poetry, it’s pretty effective in making us like the family.

This is all disrupted as we learn that his wife is dying of cancer and Big Evil Pharma is trading his wife’s life for profits. There was going to be a generic that could save her that is pulled from the market.

While in the hospital, he sees the CEO of that very company being interviewed on CNN. He calls into the show to voice his plight. After the CEO issues meaningless platitudes, Ray threatens his life if his wife dies.

We are left with two thoughts: “OK, here’s the action setup we’ve been waiting for,” and, “How much did the pathetic, dying CNN pay to be in the movie?”

Faster than you can say, “Well, that escalated quickly,” Cooper is contacted by a journalist from Vice (yeah, that Vice, lol) and Big Evil Pharma apparently sends out hit men.

All through these scenes, Cooper is accompanied by his precocious adorable daughter, Rachel, played by Isabela Merced. Like so many movies, the writers don’t seem to know what a young person is. One moment she’s an impulsive kid who won’t follow basic instructions. The next she’s relating meaningful and deep anecdotes to an FBI agent.

But do pay attention to Rachel, she’s the central character in more ways than one.

I can’t say much more without spoilers but let me assure you, there are some fun twists in this movie. Kind of like M. Night Shamalyan and mid-80s Arnold Schwarzenegger did a movie together.

I wouldn’t say I recommend it, but I mean if you’ve already played through every season of Friends and are in your comfy chair for the night, check it out.

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