I never really cared for the Oscars. Years ago I’d watch it just to be with my wife as she marveled at the pageantry and I laughed at the comedy of the host and presenters.

It was always a self-congratulatory circle jerk of opulence, excess and spectacle for people who happened to be very attractive and mostly talented. Then as you know, it became insufferable.

They turned their ire on 50% of the country and began to “punch down” at their audience and what they found important.

So it was with great disappointment that I learned I missed the Oscars last night.

“What,” You ask, incredulously.

“Let me explain,” I say sporting a smirk.

You see, last night Chris Rock made a joke about Will Smith’s wife, Jada Pinkett Smith and her state of baldness. Then there was the now infamous Will Smith Chris Rock Oscars slap. Here, watch the clip.

Well, before Rock’s cheek regained it’s natural form, the story went viral and the memes did flow.