If you’re one of those people who are online too much, you no doubt heard about the Washington Post’s middle school/mean girls fight going on on Twitter five days and counting.

To recap – a very senior journalist, Dave Weigel committed the unpardonable sin of re-Tweeting a mildly sexist joke. Well, what many have learned is that modern journalism is a collection of very powerful and privileged crybullies.

Here’s the Great Offense

Enter Felicia Sonmez, who was so outraged, so hurt by Weigel’s RT that she launched into a tirade of offensive victimhood that has not been rivaled in history.

Seeing that the Washington Post of Woodward and Bernstein is long gone, we thought we’d contrast the old vs. new with a little caption contest. We asked for some suggestions. Here are a couple.

Michael Loftus (bossman) says: “You know all women are bi. You just have to find out if it’s sexual or polar. At the post though, it’s exclusively polar.”

Dusty chimes in: “I can’t imagine we’ll ever see anything worse than this.”

Ward Bond adds: “Dude. Don’t turn around. Felicia Sonmez is standing right. behind. you!”