Last night I made the mistake of watching episode one of Marvel’s ‘Secret Invasion’. Well, the secret it out. It sucks. For a variety of reasons. I’ll list a few here. Right out of the gate? The villains are shit. We’re supposed to be worried about the Skrull. They’re the shapeshifting aliens that are hot death to any dramatic tension. Why? They’re shapeshifters everybody! Ohhhhh! They can look like anyone! You never know who’s a skrull… scary… right? Wrong. NOTE: Whenever you have aliens that can look just like humans, that means you have a shit budget. You can’t afford to make aliens. End of story. The only time a shapeshifting story worked was ‘The Thing’ where you had a small group of people trying to figure out who was lying and ‘Invasion of the body snatchers’ where if you fell asleep, you’d be replaced with a lookalike. Marvels Secret Invasion has no twist like that. Anyone could be a Skrull. It’s fucking lame, lazy and cheap.

Here’s another reason why you should go ahead and skip this show. Nick Fury as a cool character is over. Apologies to Samuel Jackson. They did you dirty. The writers have no clue how to write NIck Fury. All they can do is tear him apart. These are the brainiacs who wrote the Fury lost his eye to a kitty cat story. Oof. But Nick Fury running around being berated left and right is lame. I should say limping around. Nick Fury is old you guys! He’s old! And he’s unsure of himself! Oh no! Let’s remind the viewer by saying out loud ever 5 seconds. The writers have taken an interesting character arc and beaten us over the head with it about a million times in the first episode. Sadly, I think the writers believe they are being ‘clever’ and or ‘smart’. It is neither.

To summarize, the lead character is an old dope, and anyone can be a Skrull. So, there’s no need to watch Marvels Secret Invasion until the last episode. Yawn.