Gene Wilder playing Willy Wonka once sang these beautiful lyrics:

Hold your breath
Make a wish
Count to three

Come with me and you’ll be
In a world of pure imagination
Take a look and you’ll see
Into your imagination

We’ll begin with a spin
Traveling in the world of my creation
What we’ll see will defy
Explanation

Then this happened.

The Willy Wonka Experience story is that a company tried to create a Willy Wonka immersive experience on a $50USD budget. Think Fyre Festival but for kids.

This week’s TWIM will focus on this hilarious/tragic story. Not just because it has been a slow news week but also because the Boss (Hi, Michael) is fixated on this magnificent trainwreck. Rumor has it, he’s pitching the comedy to Hulu as we speak.

Let’s start with the Meth Lab Oompa Loompa, shall we?

Apparently, like Haggis, Scotland has another dubious claim to fame.

What else happened last week? Who cares! OK, OK, here’s some other things worth mentioning.

Apparently the liberal activist who pretend they’re journalists over at NBC are over the moon that there are gay whales.

Like we said, slow news week. Mitch McConnell is stepping down from being the Senate Republican’s biggest pork procurer. We’ll leave you with this until next week. Stay well.