This won’t be a post where I rail against Netflix. They had what I imagine to be an incredibly successful night. Their numbers must be off the chart this morning. It feels like every human being on the planet was watching (or at least trying to watch) the big fight. Mike Tyson vs Jake Paul. So, what happened? Who won? What tasty metaphors were there about life? Because that’s what sport is. Especially boxing. Now that the fight is over, what have we learned from Mike Tyson vs Jake Paul on Netflix? Plenty.

There were so many fights actually going on last night. There was the struggle just to watch the damn thing. Netflix got their asses handed to them. The buffering was insane. Pretty sure we’re all less than thrilled about that. Steaming on TV was horrible. I watched on my laptop, and it was near perfect. So, there’s that. But let’s talk about the real fight. The one with father time. That was the big one.

A 58-year-old Mike Tyson did battle with a much younger Jake Paul. That was the fight. Could an older guy beat up a young dude? That was what we wanted to see. I still want to believe that Mike could have won. For real.

Is that wishful thinking? Sure. Like most people you want to believe the rules of aging don’t apply to you. You want to think that somehow, you’re immune. Mike knocking out Paul would have helped with that illusion. We’re all going to the lose that fight. It’s a drag. But that’s the deal.

We also got treated to a public relations fight. Jake Paul is the villain in this bout. Tyson is the hero. That’s just how America viewed it. Mike was the good guy who was fighting for the people and Jake was the kid who need to learn a lesson… or get his ass kicked. However, you want to say it. Jake Paul is no dummy, though and really did everything he could to try to not be the bad guy. The bow at the end of the fight was a bit much. It was ‘cringe’ as the kids say. Some people loved it. I felt forced and way too drama club to me.

But wait… there’s more from Jake. He really tried to turn things around with this statement at the end.

Now maybe that was heartfelt and maybe it wasn’t. We’ll never know. It certainly didn’t hurt. But once again it felt scripted and way too much like an attempt to manipulate to me. Again, we’ll never truly know. All I do know for certain is this: Mike Tyson could’ve kicked Jake Paul’s ass last night if he would have really tried. And the rules don’t apply to me. We all stay the same age forever. Netflix may have broken the illusion for a moment, but our coping skills bounce back fast, baby!

There’s also this:

The big takeaway? Mike Tyson needs money. He got a boatload of it last night. Good. He didn’t get embarrassed, and he can take care of himself. Good. All our hopes and dreams don’t mean shit to Mike Tyson. He needs to look out for himself. We don’t blame him one bit. Thats how real life works. That’s who won the fight last night. Real life. The undefeated champ.