FBI Wants You to Report ‘Family Members & Peers’ for ‘Suspicious Behaviors’

In a pretty disturbing move, the FBI is letting Americans know they’re cool if you want to snitch out a family member. The agency tweeted out a reminder of just how much they approved with this message: “Family members and peers are often best positioned to witness signs of mobilization to violence. Help prevent homegrown violent extremism.”

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Okayyyy…so, on one hand we kinda get it. Whenever someone goes on a rampage the first question people always ask is, “Where was the family? Why didn’t they say anything?” But isn’t that what we expect out of decent human beings? If someone is about to lose their shit, I’m hoping you’d want to give the rest of us the heads up.

I’m not comfortable at all with the FBI’s little reminder tweet to rat out your family or peers for suspicious behavior. That’s way too close to KGB-style tactics from the Soviet Union. Hey kids! Are Mom and Dad saying the wrong thing? Call the FBI! We’ll round ’em up and get to the bottom of this!

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The more I think about this tweet the less I like it. Doesn’t the FBI have better things to do? Like, oh, I don’t know, getting to the bottom of the Hunter Biden investigation? Or breaking up smuggling rings?

Maybe they don’t do that stuff anymore. Maybe they just wait for kids to call and turn in family members.

About the Author
Writer, Comedian, Geek, Purveyor of the Sexy Heathen lifestyle. Sometimes on TV. AKA 'The Mgmt.' Always hanging round TheLoftusParty.com

2 comments on “FBI Wants You to Report ‘Family Members & Peers’ for ‘Suspicious Behaviors’

  1. Tim Colomba says:


    The only good thing/funny thing to come out of this is the internal monologues we’ve all been having… “Okay well obviously I’m not an extremist, I mean, I don’t even like sending my food back… but I did get into that political argument a few weeks back… but I was just kidding about the whole deporting college professors thing… they wouldn’t call me in… would they?”

    Okay FBI… that was very funny trying to scare everyone… let’s go back to finding out who’s ripping off the Monopoly game from McDonalds. We like it when you do stuff like that…

    1. The Mgmt. says:

      I forgot about the McDonalds thing! LOL. That might be the only thing the FBI has done that everybody liked

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