Elden Ring – When ‘The Silmarillion’ & Dark Souls Have a Baby

A little offended? Yeah. I just watched a trailer for Elden Ring. My first reaction was: “WTF? Are we NOT going to call anyone out on giant Silmarillion rip-off? Are we going to pretend those giant trees of light AREN’T there?” Maybe I’m missing something, but someone has some explaining to do.

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Elden Ring is the much hyped RPG from Hidetaka Miyazaki (who gave us the Souls series) and a dude by the name of George R. R. Martin (who gave us Game of Thrones). Now the exciting part of this game was supposed to be the the George R. R. Martin collaboration. Evidently ol’ George just said, “Fuck it. Put the whole thing in the undying lands from Tolkien’s Silmarillion,” and cashed the check and left.

This is some of the hackiest, rip-off shit I think I’ve ever seen. The trees of light in Tolkien’s Silmarillion are ICONIC. You can’t just rip that off and expect people not to notice. The more I think about it, the more pissed off I get. It’s the artistic equivalent of changing a lightsaber from Star Wars and calling it a lightsword and expecting people not to notice. Fuck that.

So, here’s a question: Just what did George R. R. Martin actually contribute? Setting the game in the undying lands? Go fuck yourself. Granted, I haven’t played Elden Ring but my Spidey senses are tingling like a mofo.

I’ll save my final judgment for after I play. And yes, I will play. The art direction (thank you, Miyazaki) looks sweet. But every time I see a giant glowing tree? I’m gonna be pissed.

About the Author
Writer, Comedian, Geek, Purveyor of the Sexy Heathen lifestyle. Sometimes on TV. AKA 'The Mgmt.' Always hanging round TheLoftusParty.com

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