Scene: Schoolyard, two youngsters fighting; one black the other light brown. They’re in each other’s face engaged in a shoving match.

The boys are shouting all sorts of insults including clearly racist ones.

A teacher, white of course, runs up and breaks up the fight.

Old and obsolete justice

Teacher: Enough! Both of you! This is not how we live and we certainly do not spew such horrible racist words to each other. What is this fight about?

Carl: Andre wouldn’t pass the ball to me when I was open.

Teacher: Well, that’s never an excuse for violence. You’re both getting detention. See you this Saturday.

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The new! improved! Social Justice

Teacher: Enough! Now let’s find out who’s at fault here. (Teacher opens a phone app.)

Carl: But Mrs….

Teacher: (Finger in Carl’s face.) Chut! Shhh! (Looks intently at the phone.) So…Andre, you’re African-American, right?

Andre: Yeah. (A green +20 appears over the boy’s head accompanied by a “ding!” sound effect.)

Teacher: And you Carl are white, right? (A red -10 appears over Carl’s head with a Family Feud style red X sound.)

Carl: It’s Carlos.

Teacher: Oops! (Red -10 is replaced by a green +20.) So sorry, CarlOS!

Carlos: Well, I’m only half-Hispanic. (Green +20 reduced to +10).

Teacher: Well, Carlos, I’m afraid that you can’t be punching down in my school yard. We’ll see you at detention this Sat…

Carlos: Wait. I’m not sure if I like boys or girls better.

Teacher: Hmmm. I’m afraid you’ll have to do better than that.

Carlos: I mean I don’t know if I’m more sexually attracted to boys or girls.

Teacher: Excellent. (+15 INTERSECTIONALITY BONUS flashed above Carlos’s head with repeated dinging.) Well, Andre, I’m afraid that you can’t be punching down in my school yard. We’ll see you at detention this Sat…

Andre: Waitaminute! I have two moms!

Teacher: (Looking very concerned.) Hang on. (Looks back at phone.)

Fade to black. fin.