Here’s the good news: We watched episode one of Disney plus Kenobi last night, so we only lost about an hour of our life on this incredible waste. I’m really trying to organize my thoughts and what sticks out the most was, as least it was fast. Pretty sure it was somewhere around the 20-minute mark that the realization hit me: Disney was going to screw up Obi Wan Kenobi too. It has to be on purpose. They have to know that they are driving the entire Star Wars franchise into the dirt. But let’s recap, shall we?

Opening? Strong! Flashback to the events that set the stage for Kenobi. Lots of footage from the prequels. Which look like Shakespeare right about now. Young Anakin, Darth Maul, Padame, Fight with Obi Wan, rise of Vader, some young padawans escaping order 66 (this is important) ending with birth of Luke and Leia and Kenobi promising to stand guard over Luke. Fucking sweet! I’m in! Let’s go! Then we go to a bar on Tatooine where three inquisitors have just arrived in their super evil empire shuttle. We got an evil looking dude with some tattoos. Another evil dude in an evil hat and a young lady of color who talks a lot of evil shit but is insanely normal looking. Hmmm… wonder why? (could it be she was one of the younglings we saw escape the jedi temple? I’d put money on it)

Then the Kenobi show turns into to the young princess Leia show in a total WTF am I watching series of scenes. Just crazy. She ends up getting kidnapped by fucking Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I shit you not! At this point I’m howling with laughter. The show has become a joke. But get this! Evil/normal inquisitor has threatened the life of the entire Skywalker family in front of Obi Wan. This chick say’s she’ll kill em all! Owen, Beru and even little Luke! Then, Princess Leia’s parents fucking call Obi Wan and ask him to find little Leia. Why in the hell would they call him? Dude is in hiding! They run a fucking planet! They don’t have private security? Or cops? Or anything?! Is that how it works in the disney star wars universe? A Senator has a kid stolen and you have no recourse? Oh well, nothing we can do I guess. Hilarious!! And how did they have Obi Wan’s phone number? WTF?

Then Leia’s dad shows up at Obi Wan’s house! And he’s all ‘dude… you have to help find Leia. You’re our only hope’. No! No, he’s not. Did you call the galactic cops? Anyone? And how do you know where Obi Wan lives?! Obi Wan must be the worst hider in the history of hide and seek. Then, we get to the kicker.

Episode 1 ends off with Obi going to rescue Leia! Hahahahahaha! He just watched an inquisitor threaten the lives of the entire Skywalker family! She’s still around and you’re going to leave? LOL! You suck! It’s laughable. The show is laughable. Who writes this shit? They have to know it’s bad. They have to know it’s awful. It has to be on purpose!

I’ll leave you with this: I have a sneaking suspicion that Evil, but not evil looking inquisitor was a youngling we saw in the order 66 flashback. She’s mad at Kenobi for abandoning her or some bullshit. She and Kenobi will duke it out in the finale. She will forgive him and end up being the one who keeps the secret of Luke and Leia. Kenobi will end up being a redemption story about her. Just putting my little theory out there. We shall see. Or not. I ended up turning off Kenobi and watching episode one of The Expanse season 6 ! That show is fantastic BTW. Highly recommend!