Santa Claus has often been depicted in films as the man in charge, but no matter how big his operation, he seems to be the jolly-yet-stern overseer of the business, or sometimes a slightly grumpy-but-loveable guy.
On Dec. 2, Santa hits the big screen reluctantly kicking some bad-guy butt in Universal’s new R-rated action comedy Violent Night. It stars David Harbor (Stranger Things) as the big guy saving a family from mercenary thugs.
I can’t tell you if it will be any good or not, but it I do plan on checking it out:
This movie is the latest in what I like to call the “Badass Santa” trope, where Santa gets to finally quit messing around with coal and takes control of the naughty list the Old School way. Next year, it looks like the trend will continue with an Amazon Prime film in development called Red One, starring The Rock, Chris Evans and J.K. Simmons as Santa. For those who only know Simmons for his acting chops (and insurance commercials) the dude is weightlifter and pretty ripped for a sixtysomething. This fact, and a peek at his costars may mean another butt-kicking Santa, but it is too early to tell for sure.
In the meantime there are some other films, ranging from bloody action to family fun where Santa gets to be more of a tough guy than a wobbling pacifist.
Fatman (2020)
This movie got so-so reviews, but I thought it was a nifty, diversion from the crap 2020 tossed our way. Mel Gibson plays Santa just trying to keep his operation afloat, including taking some government contract work. However, when a rich but emotionally neglected mega-brat hires a hitman to take out Santa, he’s pretty much had enough. Gibson and Marianne Jean-Baptist (Mrs. Claus) play the first couple of Christmas cheer in a very sympathetic and believable way.
There are a couple of decent family treats out there as well.
The Christmas Chronicles (2018)
Chris Columbus, the director behind Home Alone, gave us this one for Netflix with Kurt Russell as Santa. This is the story of the two kids who recently lost their father. They somehow managing to stowaway on Santa’s sleigh in their quest to capture him on film. Russell’s Santa is a bit naive of how life in the big city, and he’s more of a strong, cool type than a Rambo in red. Plus, there’s the obligatory family slightly cringy musical number, but it’s more Blues Brothers than Polar Express. This movie was popular enough to spawn a sequel that wasn’t nearly as good. Skip it. The original a good departure from the watching the Santa Clause or Elf again. I mean, it’s freakin’ Snake Pliskin and Wyatt Earp in the Santa suit.
Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Dreamsworks’ animated feature is based on the beautiful Guardians of Childhood book series by William Joyce. Well known legends North, Tooth, Bunny and Sandy have to team up to protect the innocence of the world from the evil nightmare creator, Pitch. Alec Baldwin voices North (Santa Claus) in full Mad Russian form. Full disclosure: the coolest badass is Bunny, the Easter Bunny (Hugh Jackman), but Santa’s aging crazy biker look complete with his awesome tattoos lets you know you don’t want to get on his list. I would love to see an action figure of this dude for some holiday decorating.
What if Santa isn’t the good guy?
What if there’s a killer demon Santa portrayed by a WWE superstar who is done playing the part of giftgiver. Well, what do you know? There is!
Santa’s Slay (2005)
After you put the kids to bed, here’s a cheesy (oh, so cheesy) horror comedy kill-fest where Santa is not a saint, but a demon. A real demon. After losing a bet, he has to take on the task of being a spreader of joy and gifts. Once “all bets are off,” the stabby time begins. With professional wrestler Bill Goldberg as Santa, he’s certainly badass, but he’s now on the naughty list and way too happy about it.
So, you better watch out. You better not cry. Most of all, you better not be bad, or Santa will give you something to cry about.