Part 1 of 2
I was told I was crazy and putting my life into danger to go to Canada. Yes, the Great Plague of 2021 was raging and people were huddled together yet socially distant in fear.
(RELATED: Covid Neuroses Network)
But the story of city people must be told. So greatly overlooked is that vast swath of humanity that lives without knowledge of what happens beyond the city-limits. Sure, many of them have heard of “suburbia” and indeed many come from there because the primal urge to live in small cubicles drives them there.
My stomach was in knots as I left Detroit behind and ascended the Ambassador Bridge into Canada. What adventures await me there? Will the insular people of Toronto welcome me? It all came into focus as I approached the customs booth.
“Mrph mrapf Canada,” said the masked customs officer in the unmistakable dialect of the Masked French-Canadian.
I smiled.
“Prft yr maft on,” was the only response I got back.
“Oh, mask! I’m sorry,” I said as I put the mask on timidly, making sure I used the local colloquialism “sorry.”
Beyond the usual queries concerning length of visit and reason came queries about my vaccination status, Covid test results and where I was staying. I produced all the required documentation.
Then came the unexpected question: “Arf you brnging canufrbis produfts?”
“Excuse me, sorry?”
“Are you bringing cannabis products?”
Bitch, why do you think I’m coming to Canada? I didn’t say. “No, sir.”
“You may go.”
“Sorry.”
So I was on my way. I noticed similarities between our government and theirs. Both put a premium on safety out of genuine concern for the well being of the populace.
Then things took a dark turn. I felt the peril of knowing how fragile life is and how close to death we are every day.
Nevertheless, I persisted, diving deeper into the unknown. Upon arrival, I immediately noticed how the natives were living in the bygone era of 2020. Masks were everywhere, worn for protection against an ancient and invisible evil, which we now know to be more tradition than modern science in outdoor settings.
To be concluded in part 2.